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Back around 1991, my wife and I were praying over a dear friend of ours. While we were praying, I felt prompted by the Spirit to sing over this person, and the words and melody to the chorus of this song came out. The presence of the Lord was strong, and as much as it may have been for this friend, it certainly spoke to where I was at the time.

As the years went by, I felt like there was a song in it and thought of how to write it. This was a bit of a conflict for me, because at the time, I felt like if something came from the Holy Spirit in such a way, then the rest of the song should come that way, too, and not from the work of the mind. I came to realize that it’s all about collaboration. What an amazing thing that God in His holiness chooses to work in and through … and with us!

All I knew about this song was that it would have to be dealing with giving up everything, and be willing to die, for Jesus, and I was not sure I could really write a song about this and put my name on it unless it was true. I am grateful for the teaching of Gary Best, a Vineyard Pastor in Canada, that sometimes the purpose of worship is to tell on us. We sing plenty of things in worship that are simply not true of us, but we need to sing them that we might be reminded of who and where we are. So although I may only be inching toward the idea of truly dying to self, die to self I must. Many of our problems can only really be remedied by crucifying our self indulgent attitudes and desires as Paul wrote to the church in Galatia. At our core we are corrupted and broken. We cannot live out of this reality. Jesus alone gives us the life we need.

The first image I had for this idea was the thief on the cross next to Jesus. It can be so hard for us to let go of what we have, but I knew that absolutely nothing I have in this world can compare with the love of Jesus Christ … with Jesus Himself. I knew I needed that (Him) more than anything else. I also had some pretty big dreams of my own that I had to let go of. The irony in the second verse for me is that after entering into a relationship with Jesus, the thief had no opportunity to “live, giving all that I am and all I have to see Kingdom come.” He would enter the Kingdom without doing anything to earn it.

One of my deepest prayers is that God would take hold of, own, my whole heart and fill it with His love. Let every heart prepare Him room.

If it means I must die,
If it means that I give up everything
To gain Paradise...
What have I to compare?
What have I to compare with Your love?
Your love...

I want You more than all my wildest dreams.
I want You more than anything.
I want You.
You.
Elohim, all I need, all I want, all I love.

If it means I can live,
Giving all that I am and all I have,
To see Kingdom come...
Take and don't let me go,
Burn in this heart 'til it shows how You love.
How You love...

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